When I became pregnant I was so ecstatic and couldn't wait for my pregnancy to fly by. Well it did with no complications, thankfully, and boy did I learn things that they don't tell you. I was so afraid to get the epidural after the child birth class showed us that the needle looked like a drill bit, but during contractions I found my fear was no longer an issue. Labor was no joke, I see why women think they can't do it, the contractions, the shaking, the freezing hospital room, the IVs, the puking, the pushing, the tearing, the stitching, and the strangers viewing everything you have to offer. I think the funniest thing that happened was when my husband had to hold the kidney shaped bowl while I threw up and was gagging as he dumped it in the toilet. I still laugh so hard every time I think about it!
Then came the visitors. I hadn't gotten to take a shower so you can only imagine what those pictures looked like. I made my mother take them out of her brag book and stop showing her friends. The comments were not, "Look at the cute baby!", they were, "Wow it looks like she went through hell!". Since I live 4 hours from where my husband and I grew up we had house guests during our 1st few days at home with our newborn. That was the hardest thing I think I've ever been though. I was trying to learn to breast feed, which took me over an hour and she ate every 2, and had to isolate myself in my bedroom. I couldn't feel any of my fingers and couldn't scoot on my bottom, on top of being exhausted, it was hard to sleep when she did b/c she slept all the time, I felt rude leaving my guests for the whole day. Just thinking about providing food and entertainment for guests was almost enough to push me over the edge.
The newborn cry is like a torture device. We never knew what the matter was, was she hungry, was she wet, was she tired, was she bored? You could cut the tension in the air between us with a knife. I think there was a period of time that we didn't speak in normal tones to each other, we snapped. Luckily that time passed quickly, at 3 months we were back to being a loving couple, well now a family. I stopped exclusively breast feeding and that was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders, there was another option of not letting my daughter starve to death! I went back to work part time and didn't want to worry about packing milk and worrying while at work that I didn't pack enough. It also made visiting family much easier. We did a lot of traveling the first few months of her life. Both of our families are so far and we wanted everyone to get to see her, so we did a lot of group get togethers. It was difficult to nurse in those environments so I would go in a bedroom again and pump for a bottle. Well pumping never gets as much out as she does so I felt like I was in there forever, then I could hear her cry and my blood pressure would hit the ceiling, so I would give her father what I had pumped and then continue to pump some more. I don't think I said 5 words to most of the guests at the parties.
Traveling takes so much longer. When she was a newborn she thankfully slept the entire 4 hour trip to get back home, but as she got older that was not the case. She would wake up and scream and scream and scream. It was great when it was my husband and I, but there were a couple times I had to make the trip alone. I would seriously be banging the back of my head on the head rest. I had heard that you shouldn't let them cry more than 10 minutes, but when you are on the turnpike with no exits and it's 20 minutes until the next rest area, you have no choice. Once it took me over 6 hours to make the trip. I have vowed to never do it alone again. I am not going home until Christmas!
Now she is 6 months and things are awesome! She can play in an exersaucer for more than 10 minutes and she can hold her own bottle, well better than before anyway. She gets some real food snacks and she blows raspberries. She can go 3 hours between feedings making it easier to grocery shop, meet friends for lunch or do a bit of shopping. Ahhh, I can finally relax a bit. We just started to do a parent/tot swim class it is so cute. I did feel a bit guilty after I dunked her but then I remembered labor and delivery and didn't feel so bad. I just wish she fit into bike helmets so that she can go on bike rides with me, I know she would love them.
I am so excited to hear her first words and watch as she experiences new things. She loves to pull on our german shepard, who tolerates her very well, and laughs and laughs. Making her laugh has become our favorite past time. I'm so thankful for her and will know how to enjoy the first few months of the next child knowing what I know now.
